SKETCHBOOK #1, page 34

Oh man, this is awesome. We had a coach/consumer economics teacher named Coach Woods who was hilariously eccentric... He was kind of a countryish fellow who had a big ol beard and wore camouflage hunting jackets to work. He liked to mess with his students, and generally got a kick out of being really weird (which was obviously a lot of fun to him). He especially enjoyed waking up class-sleepers in creative ways. For example: he would open up all the cabinets in the room during a lecture, never pausing or acknowleging what he was doing, then starting at the back of the room, run along the wall slamming them all in succession. Another time, I remember him stopping mid-sentence, dropping to the floor and commando-crawling down the aisle between the desks, until he was right under the sleeping person's desk, at which point he would scream something at them from below. Basically, he loved scaring the hell out of his students.

He was also always good for a totally absurd non-sequiter. You'd see him in the halls, for instance, and say hello, to which he'd reply something like "oh yeah, motorcycles are good times." Or something.. Anyway, one afternoon, my physics class (taught by the also-a-lot-of-fun Coach Coleman, a sometime cattle farmer,) was outside in the parking lot doing some kind of experiment. Coach Woods comes out with a dead-rat in one of those conical water-cooler cups. He interrupts whatever we were working on, walks right up to Coach Coleman, and goes "Hey kid, you always wanna know what makes that noise in your fan belt and goes: (insane noise and facial expressions..)? Well, I took mine apart and this is it!" He holds up the dead rat in a cup. "This is what powers your TOY-YO-TOE" (that's how he said it) "Just wanted to show all my people..." (here's where he acknowleged the class for the first time) "...that I know what powers my Toyoto." -dramatic pause - "Rats on a belt."

and with that, he turned around and beelined outta there. I just had to write it down so I'd remember it, 'cause I knew I'd probably want to post it on the internet for y'all to see one day.